Letter: Childhood lesson illustrated importance of character over skin color

Dear Editor:

One of my first life lessons I can clearly recall, but before I tell you, let me say it was one of the most valuable lessons I ever learned at an early age. Some studies claim better than 50 percent of all we’ll ever know, we’ll learn by age 5. Studies show that by the age 3 our brains are 80 percent the size of adult‘s brain and that our lifelong personality traits are pretty well established.

Here’s the story: A young lady Helen, came to work for my parents while she was still in her teens. My father, a judge in our small town, had just performed a private marriage ceremony between her and her husband. She was about four months pregnant and, needless to say, they didn’t need a lecture, they needed help. Helen was a perfect fit helping mom with a family of ten.

One of her chores involved keeping us kids bathed. I was about 5 sitting in the tub with Helen making sure I got clean and out of the clear blue, I asked Helen, “What color are you?” I still remember the surprised look on her face as she responded, “I’m brown.” Then I asked, “What does that feel like?” With that, the door of the bathroom swung wide open and my mother snatched me out of the tub and carried me to the basement and to the coal room where tons of coal were stored for our coal-fired furnace. She took coal and rubbed it on me and when I was pretty much covered asked, “Do you feel any different now that you’re black?” Even obvious, to a 5 year old, I knew the answer mom was looking for was, “No!”

This was about the same time a young accomplished well-educated preacher had just stated making headlines across our country. And, rightly so! This preacher already completed over 10 years of undergraduate and post-graduate education. This young preacher was born Michael King but his father, years earlier, had changed his name to honor a German reformer, Martin Luther.. thus, Martin Luther King Sr. and now, Martin Luther King Jr.

Seven years before Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, Mom was teaching me, “It’s not skin color but character that measures the feelings and worth of a person.”

Mom and dad never attended a civil rights march. Their seemingly silent (over 60 years) influence involved teaching their children what’s right and wrong from an early age. For that matter, as a onetime mayor of my hometown, dad never attended any celebrations outside what was celebrating our hometown heritage. My parents, just like their parents, have spent their lives supporting businesses that employed people of character. Over the years dad and mom have “taken a lot of flack” working extended hours on Sundays and holidays earning a living. Even today at 93, dad parks his vehicle around the corner from his office so their priest, as well as judgmental people, might not think he’s being disrespectful working Sundays and holidays. If only those people had any idea the good my dad’s life has generated because of his hard work.

I won’t argue whether or not it’s right or wrong for our mayor to miss a holiday celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.. I will say that if Dr. King had ever met my folks he would have admired their character and love them.

My lifelong friend, Helen, still lives in my hometown. I wrote her recently about her heavenly crown weighing more than other heavenly crowns because of her work helping my family years and years ago. Yes, Helen even worked holidays.

James Beery
Bardstown