By DAVE RAMSEY
Syndicated Financial Advice Columnist
Dear Dave,
My fiancée and I are getting married in a few months. Everything seems great between us, except when it comes to money and finances. She’s not a big spender, but not long after we got engaged, she said she wants me to manage the money and make all the financial decisions. It seems to me that married couples should make decisions together. Do you have any advice on how I should approach her about this?
Benjamin
Dear Benjamin,
First off, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I hope you two will have long and happy lives together.
Many marriage counselors will tell you if a couple comes to agreement on four major issues before the wedding, they’ll have a greater chance of forming a successful and lasting marriage. The issues? Money, kids, in-laws and religion. I happen to agree with this line of thinking.
You seem like a thoughtful guy, Benjamin. So, why not try sitting down with her, just the two of you, and explaining straight from your heart how important the concept of togetherness is to you—especially when it comes to your finances. I’m not saying money is the most important thing in the world, but I do believe it’s vitally important that all financial decisions in a marriage are made by the husband and wife together.
Good, open communication is a valuable thing to have in any relationship. And I firmly believe the process of sharing your financial goals and dreams, along with doing a monthly budget together, will be a wonderful sharing experience for you both. Money shouldn’t be the most important thing in your lives. But it is a very valuable tool. The way a couple handles their finances—everything from spending to saving to giving—is representative of their priorities and of their dreams, passions and fears.
In my mind, all these things should be shared and pursued together, as one.
— Dave
Dave Ramsey is a nine-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.